This may be my last entry…
I’m angry at the whole world – including you. The older I get the more intolerant of idiocy and selfishness I become. I spend a good portion of my day shaking my overwhelmingly frustrated head and pondering things like:
- If you want to cross the road at this crossing, why haven’t you pressed the bloody button? Are you really too cool for that?
- Do you really need to walk 4 abreast down this pavement? How can others get past you and your cackling coven?
- What makes you think it’s ok to put your feet up on the seats of public transport? Can I come round to yours and wipe my dog-shitty feet on your
- These days we have deodorant!
- Did you miss the potty training lessons as a child?!
- Has the invention of headphones just passed you by or do you genuinely think that people won’t get through the day without hearing your shitty music through your shitty phone speakers?
There are countless other bits of human behavioral detritus that blight my existence on a daily basis and they have all turned me from an a-stranger-is-just-a-friend-I-haven’t-met-yet kind of guy into a rabid sociopath hellbent on the destruction of anyone that gets in my way (internally of course, despite my internal rage I’m not a violent person). Incidentally, GET OUT OF MY BASTARD WAY!
What’s happened to me? Is this just how you get as you get older? Am I destined to become that errant-ball-hording misanthrope waving his ineffectual elderly fist at those ‘bloody kids!’ and secretly wishing he could join in the game? Or is it simply that I live in a city and there’s no room to be and no time to spare and no compassion to give? I’m hoping it’s the latter but there’s just no way of telling. Perhaps I’ve always been this way and that’s why I choose to identify with a green, slimy leveler of worlds. Yeah, perhaps it’s that one.
Jon Stewart has announced his departure from The Daily Show today. He doesn’t know when he will be leaving but it will happen sometime this year. This is sad news for fans of the show but I wish him all the best for whatever his future holds. If you are unsure of how great he is at his job then watch the following video (sent to me by Mrs Cthuiu) and I’m sure you’ll see how hard this news is to take.
“I’m going to have dinner on a school night with my family, who I have heard from multiple sources are lovely people.” – Jon Stewart on leaving The Daily Show