Unleash the beast

This may be my last entry…

Right now I am on an enforced bland diet. Essentially this means that I have to stay away from greasy of spicy food. The former shouldn’t be a problem right? I eat pretty well. The latter though… sheesh… tough times ahead!

As it turns out, I probably don’t eat as well as I would to think. This evening for example, I had intended to have fish and salad leaves but ended up having a chippy tea instead. I actually had doner kebab meat and chips with a megaton of my new favourite hot sauce: Sriracha. Almost immediately after eating this worst-of-both-worlds behemoth of a meal I starting feeling bad – the belly beast had been unleashed!

Actually, that’s not a bad thing. After a couple days of being good and looking after myself I have started to feel better so, for a single greasy, spicy meal to make me feel bad shows that the doctor nailed the diagnosis. The issue now is how am I going to survive a festival? The only things I’ll be eating there are either greasy, spicy or both. The answer is carry on taking the tablets and couple them with a bit of Gaviscon to tame the angry beast within!

Here’s a celebratory haiku I have entitled ‘GErrrrRD’

The beast is unleashed
Rumbling, volcanic hell
Quick! Eat something bland!

Thanks for reading, now kindly pass the mashed potatoes!


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